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It was a day like any other, I just dropped off the kids at school and was rushing to the gym when I ran into them. They were a sight to behold holding hands and giggling like two love struck sweethearts.

Now ordinarily I should not be shocked at this public display of affection between two adults for I am guilty of that as well except that two nights ago, these two did turn their home into a war zone, I was still awake when it all started, I was almost done with the laundry when they started yelling and shouting ,not long after I heard screams and then cries amidst loud banging on a door and then silence.

I quietly said a prayer for her and her children before I switched off my lights and went to bed, because this was not the first time I’ve seen or heard them do this, somehow, it was almost a normal occurrence for sometimes in one week, they were bound to fight and disturb the peace of the neighborhood at least twice.

I was shocked the next morning when I saw her taking her kids to school sporting big dark tinted goggles that almost covered her entire face, I often wondered why she stayed on ?

Somehow, she’s become an expert at pretense for she is the first to greet and ask how was your night, and I will smile back and wish she didn’t ask for I’m on the verge of saying “ my night could be better without all the chaos coming from your end”

I don’t want to be a kill joy but I must say that i’m quite surprised at this development, how do you go from zero to hundred in just two days of violent romance with punches?

Seeing them this morning all lovey dovey was kind of odd and strange – it left me with questions for I had no logical explanation as to what happened to warrant such display especially since her bruises were still sore, this time her big dark tinted lenses could not hide her bruised swollen face.

I must admit that the first time I witnessed their little fight, my heart beat shot high up and my stomach must have jumped to my chest. It was indeed a difficult thing to swallow but after it became a weekly occurrence, I only felt embarrassed for her and sorry for her children. I’m sure they are also unwilling spectators as I am.

I can’t even begin to imagine how they slept at night with all that hell breaking loose every now and then.

I am quite aware that the presence of abuse is difficult for many women to admit especially when so much is on the line — their relationship, their financial stability, the future of their children and even the approval of friends and neighbors yet there is a line one can’t continue to cross – when you can’t hide your black eye or explain away your bruises and injuries as mere kitchen incidents.

Since when does marriage worth allowing someone who is broken to break you? Is it worth allowing your heart to be used and abused? why loose your voice and yourself in a marriage that was contracted on the basis of love? why condone this violence by not speaking up or leaving? Of what use is a title when your life is slowly fading away

Honestly speaking, this marriage thing is not a do or die, don’t forget, if life can remove someone you never thought of loosing, it can replace them with someone you never dreamed of having but you have to be alive to experience this.

From all indication, this woman is suffering from BWS short for battered woman syndrome. I have heard of a story where a battered woman left her husband of thirty years immediately her last child got married and I could not help but ask what would have happened if she met death while waiting, sadly, I got my answers sooner than I expected –NOTHING … life goes on!

Uncovering the truth regarding why women stay put in an abusive relationship is almost an uphill task especially when the women are still under the illusion that their men are just troubled and that they are the only one who can help them.

That by the way is a classic spin by most men who after few minutes of battering their wives/girlfriends immediately plead for forgiveness, pledging love and a promise of “it will not happen again” that sounds like a broken record.

Don’t forget, when you play with fire, you will end up burnt. While there is nothing wrong about offering help to your troubled spouse, there is everything wrong with denying yourself the right to life and peace of mind.

Abuse should have no place in the minds of our children no matter what is at stake and truth be told, you cannot control what you cannot understand.

You alone cannot help a man who constantly puts you in harm’s way all because you want to retain your title as a Mrs.

I am at my wit’s end trying to figure out how to be of help when two weeks after that incident, her corpse was found by her children.
How do you explain to these children that the man who once took their mother’s breath away literally took her breath away?

In retrospect, I believe that when she first saw him he looked lonely and she thought, she could complete and fill up his emptiness with love and companionship. Little did she know that he was not that empty, because he was a man daily at war with his personal demons.

I can imagine her face the first time she got beaten, the shock, the hurt, the doubts, the fears.

On every scale, her death was senseless, too big to comprehend and too large to justify,

Truth is if the water is contaminated, the fish will not survive and no matter how much milk you feed a snake,its bite is always deadly

No matter how many times I say rest in peace to all the Mrs, now titled “Deceased”

I just have a numb feeling they are not.

They are just….. gone!!

End note:
Please goggle DR. Mrs (Hestiana Thomas)

Vivian Belford is a lover of God and all the good things life can offer, a girly girl who believes in having fun with whatever she does. She is currently starring in her own reality show titled, Living and Dying With a Smile! Her Mantra: *Put on some lip gloss,pour yourself a drink, sit back and have a really good laugh!* The world is one big comedy afterall!!!!