SPOKEN WORDS

I DESERVE A CROWN

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Gina ……hey princess……………
My face lit up with smiles as I turned and ran across the room. Standing there was dad with a tiara in hand and on seeing me, he leaned forward setting it lightly on my head and whispered softly, you look beautiful princess now go and rule your world. I cat walked into the party feeling every inch a royalty, gosh! Life was so beautiful but then I woke up! Oh! It was only a dream, I let out a sigh, there goes…………..

Gina! Gina! I recall the man calling after me. I snapped back to reality as the memories came rushing back at me like a storm. See, I just left an interview, the tears are still fresh on my cheeks, I can taste them running down my mouth. What did I do wrong this time I questioned? I was decently dressed in a corporate turtle neck Ankara suit, yet when he spoke to me, his eyes were fixated on my chest rather than my face. You know you don’t need to remind me that I have two round beautiful bulges on that spot I almost shouted, they are part of the female anatomy in case you are wondering .

I’m sweating now but not out of anxiety. I could feel his eyes like a violent missile ripping my precious Da-viva apart. I let out a cough and shifted uncomfortably. He looked up, handed me his card and said “call me today by 6’oclock I will be at the Hilton room 606. slowly, i see the devious smile gathering round his face as he winked at me and said “if you care for me, me sef go care too….. Life is beautiful ….. or don’t you think so too…….I knew I was done for so I sadly gathered my credentials which he never even gave a glance. I left that room broken once again.

At 6 O’clock, I took a shower dressed up and left for church. See I knew I needed to talk to someone, who better than God, he can calm this storm. The pastor preached, I felt lifted in my spirit yes God is good, he has not forsaken me. At the end of service, the pastor waved and I went to greet. He ushered me into his office, a word of prayer or so he said . I closed my eyes and held out my hand.

SILENCE
Wait a minute, It’s awfully silent in here this man is not praying because I’m feeling something. Something like hands all over me. Oh no! this can’t be happening, he is a “man of God” so I stood still thinking it must be a figment of my imaginations or the aftermath of a very bad day but in that stillness, I could feel his face getting too close to mine. I opened my eyes in the nick of time just as our beloved pastor was about to kiss. I struggled free and ran out of church forgetting my bible there.

I’m shaking now but not by anointing, I’m dripping sweat but I have no fever my tears is choking me. That’s it! I’m done now, no more congregating surely even God will understand for i’m kneeling here broken once again.

Sunday morning, I took my swimsuit and left for the pool. See I reckon I’ve been through a lot and I need a break even from my own thoughts before I loose myself to the demons tormenting my mind and replaying my sad encounters almost every second. Gina! Is that you? I turned around and there he was, Uncle I screamed and gave a hug just like I did when I was little girl. I was so excited because he is now a senator. At last a ray of hope, my big break he must be God sent. Finally I can put down this big pot of sadness that has been boiling over in my life.

Monday morning, I rushed to his office. Good afternoon uncle I greeted between smiles but he didn’t respond instead he placed his finger on my lips and whispered “stop with this Uncle stuff, you are now a big girl, we can have some fun and enjoy ourselves. O M G! Uncle! Is this a joke? Don’t worry I will take care of you He responded meanwhile he is pulling his agbada off off him.

See I’m so confused. Uncle please sheath your sword but he was past hearing. All of a sudden, I saw myself running round the office table as my uncle and one huge erection chased after me all in plain sight. See wahala this one na horror movie. No it’s not funny cause most night I wake up screaming.. Run Gina or this one-eyed snake is gonna get you. Isn’t it a sad moment when a loved relative becomes a complete stranger?

Now I’m standing here face to face with Dad eyes red from cries, heart heavy as stone but then I realized it’s not his fault. His only crime was raising me a good girl in a bad world.

They say success is not a function of chance so I’m more determined to put up a fight so like brother Paul, sister Gina can boldly say at last “God I fought a good fight I deserve a crown.

I’ve heard that it is a truth universally accepted that a man in possession of a penis must at some point be in want of a woman but Dad, you always told me that my vagina is a gift and like every gift, it’s meant to be given with love for love to the man who puts a ring on it. No! it’s not to be taken by hook, crook or force.

At this point, the woman in me is screaming to take the stage and rule her world but on her own terms. See Dad I’m sorry but I’m done with the princess and her little tiara.
I’m a queen now.
I deserve a crown

Dear God it’s not easy but I’m doing my best.
I deserve a crown!
I deserve a crown!!

Vivian Belford is a lover of God and all the good things life can offer, a girly girl who believes in having fun with whatever she does. She is currently starring in her own reality show titled, Living and Dying With a Smile! Her Mantra: *Put on some lip gloss,pour yourself a drink, sit back and have a really good laugh!* The world is one big comedy afterall!!!!

2 Comments

  1. nneka

    October 29, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    Hmmmmmm. Deep .

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