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I can not believe who my eyes just saw at the airport, I had gone to receive my Brother who was coming back from the UK when I bumped into her.I almost didn’t recognise her, you know, thinking aloud now, I always knew she was a very beautiful woman even though I often saw her with bruises, black eyes and a sad face each time she visited all because, the husband had a habit of battering her and their children whenever he was drunk or angry.

Bad times it was for them, but here she was looking very chic and classy.The elegance in her walk, body movement and voice was quite significant,her poise was genuine-this woman is very comfortable in her skin. She smiled at me with such confidence and grace. Indeed, she has earned each stride.

We hugged each other warmly and exchanged brought some tears to my eyes,it felt good seeing her again but it was pure joy seeing her looking very distinguished- a total package. I often wondered what happened to her and her children after her husband threw them out and married another woman.

She was leaving for Baltimore on one of her many seminars, where she speaks against abuse and encourages women to stand up for themselves. She told me it was something she started doing just after she nursed and healed from the abuse she went through with her husband and captor for 10 long years.Yes ten long years!

We sat down for a bit to catch up on things and of course, curiosity got the better part of me. I had to ask what happened?

She replied,“I never thought that I could amount to anything before now, I thought I have achieved everything I could in life,finished college, got married and had children. He used to be the love of my life. There was a time when I thought I will die without him. He was the very air I breathe and literally will suffocate if I don’t have him.It’s been years now since the last time i saw him, but here I am, a much better person than he left me. Never in my life did I think I had it in me to be half the woman I am now’

To cut a long story short, she is having the time of her life. She has even started dating again. Her kids just went back to the boarding school for their senior year. As she left to board her plane, I asked my bro, whereon God’s green planet did she find, the strength to transform her life?

His guess was as good as mine.

If I took anything away from our meeting that day, it will be this “change is not a threat but an opportunity” it doesn’t matter how far in a mess we are, it doesn’t matter how long we settled for one thing or the other, what matters is that once life avails us the opportunity, we must use it to alter our world in the positive thereby turning our situation around for the better.

Finding your purpose in life is the key to happiness and fulfillment.

Personally, my belief is that – every new day we wake up alive, life just gave us another chance; it is what we choose to do with it that matters. I remembered a story once told of a man who became the owner of the company where he once worked as a cleaner, strange isn’t it? He didn’t start out where he wanted, but each new day, another new step-he sure ended up there. Talk about working your way to the top.

Thinking aback- Never in a million years did I think that mummy Ivy as I fondly call her can make such a dramatic turn. She did a complete 360. She was not the same woman at all, speaking frankly, I think she died and was born again.

Though not all of us might get a second shot at life, but for those lucky ones, you must realise that it is a gift and must be fully appreciated.

Our minds are amazingly potent tools – even more so than we may realize-Just by thinking something, we can make it more likely to happen. Imagine the potentials still unlocked, the dreams still not lived and the freedom yet to be experienced all because we let our situation confine us.

For those who may not believe that a fresh start is possible with a relationship or a missed opportunity, you really have to rethink. Even though it may seem that there is too much water under the bridge or that too much conflict has ensured for things to ever be hopeful again, you cannot just surrender yourself to fate. The way I see it, we need to look beyond our nose and our scope of understanding, we are so much more than we give ourselves credit for.

For some of us on an otherwise easy journey, a surprising roadblock is not a time to stop and turn around rather it’s a time to stop and think, it’s an opportunity to reflect on why the choices we made didn’t work out as we hoped and then come up with better ideas and ways to bust through that roadblock and move forward. You can never know until you try!

To those whose gallant attempt to make something happen hasn’t worked out yet, don’t go blaming yourselves. It may not be that you have done anything wrong, sometimes, the timing isn’t just right or maybe other things have to fall into place first, so don’t assume that it won’t happen rather take the stance that it has not happened yet and keep trying. Who knows, the universe may just have bigger and better plans for you.

Are you feeling depressed, unhappy, rejected and down in the dumps?

Do you feel less driven to succeed?

Don’t give up!

Remember that airplanes take off against the wind, not with It.! Instead of concentrating on what went wrong, try to focus on what went right, the steps we take now might be contributory in cementing the path to success or failure later in our future.

Every morning we wake up breathing, we are born-again!

It’s a fresh start to make something happen or change something for the better

Take the right step today for you can only be productive when you make an effort.

Vivian Belford is a lover of God and all the good things life can offer, a girly girl who believes in having fun with whatever she does. She is currently starring in her own reality show titled, Living and Dying With a Smile! Her Mantra: *Put on some lip gloss,pour yourself a drink, sit back and have a really good laugh!* The world is one big comedy afterall!!!!


  1. Biodun

    November 6, 2015 at 4:50 pm

    Fantastic piece, very encouraging and very hypnotic as you read on. Well done